Isn’t it Ironic?
It’s time to add some sophistication to your writing. You will now have the chance to splash some irony all over one of your stories. Your story should be the story of someone who is going to respond to one of the following personal ads.
Wanted: Single, white female. Must be able to carry on an intelligent conversation about space travel. Helpful if knows Calculus and physics. Meet me any day at 12:00 noon on bench at Smucker Park.
Wanted: Someone who can give a cost-efficient make over. Must know about eyebrows and facial hair. Must bring own make over supplies. Call at 928-555-3800 after 5:00 pm.
Wanted: Partner in crime. Must have at least one felony-worthy crime under belt. Must be willing to take big risk for big payoff. Come to JOES on 4th Ave. Code word: Oatmeal.
Wanted: Man with perfect physique for artist wanting to paint nudes. Must be young and patient. Pay is good. Stop by Artie’s Art Studio between 8 am and 3 pm.
You also need to include an example of one or more kinds of irony. Have a good time!
Verbal Irony: What is said is the opposite of what is meant. Sarcasm is a kind of verbal irony.
• “My ride just left. That’s great, just great.”
• “You’re wasting away to nothing,” she commented to the obese man.
Dramatic Irony: A difference between what a character says/does and what the reader knows to be true.
• Sophomores are so immature. John, now a junior, couldn’t stand to hang around them anymore. His mother reminded him to make good decisions and come home on time as he left for his night out. He took the minivan. It would be so great when he was grown up and finally bought a truck.
• The soldier finished painting the peace sign on the left side of the vehicle before climbing into the tank.
Situational Irony: A difference between how things look and how they really are. A difference between what happens and what should have happened.
• She slipped her robe and slippers on. She looked over at her sleeping husband. The cold of the night encouraged her back to the safety of her bed. She was just going to the bathroom. She loved being home for the sense of peace and safety it afforded her. She closed the door silently and turned on the light. She turned around to face a man dressed in all black and holding a knife.
• At the end of the police investigation they finally arrested the guilty party, Detective Ruiz.
Your story should be no longer than one typed, double spaced page.
What kind of irony is in your story?
Wanted: Caretaker for big cats. Must have experience with lions, tigers, cougars, or other big cats. Please call 928-555-3800 for more information.
When Sam saw the ad in the newspaper he knew he’d hit the jackpot with this one. His wounds were almost healed. The scars on his chest were still a deep red but at least he didn’t hurt that much anymore. He thought of revenge as he went to the kitchen for another peanut butter sandwich. He glanced at the famous picture that hung on the wall over the TV. Sam was front and center with his Cabela’s safari shirt and the background was lit up with the fiery orange and black of the tigers.
He picked up the phone and called 928-555-3800. An elderly, gruff voice answered. Sam brought up the ad, and a short, impersonal interview ensued. “I have a feeling the cat is going to love you,” encouraged the man before he hung up. That had been surprisingly easy. The man hadn’t even asked anything about his experience with big cats.
The next morning as he drove to the huge mansion he reminisced about his trip to the zoo just over 8 months ago. Sam and two of his friends had been throwing peanuts at the tigers. Suddenly one of the tigers jumped over the barricade out into the pedestrian walkway. He seized on one of Sam’s friends who was dead before he knew what had happened. In an attempt to rescue his friend, Sam had received a nasty swat across his chest which had cut to his ribs. The tiger pounced on him again and bit down on his shoulder. Suddenly the tiger went limp and he fell over, a large dart sticking out of his flank. It had taken six months to be well enough to leave his house on his own.
Sam noticed an elderly man just inside the gate to the mansion. He stopped his car. “Here will be fine. You can leave your car,” stated the old man. “You look perfect, so young and tender.” They walked down a small path and stopped in front of a cage housing a magnificent male lion. The old man unlocked the door and motioned for Sam to step inside. Sam naively did and the man locked the door again. “Have a nice lunch,” the old man invited the lion.
